Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
