i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
