She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize