Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
