What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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