it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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