...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
its not stalking. its research.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
