did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can i not drive my cunt home
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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