Plan B is the new Plan A
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
