I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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