So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
