I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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