We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
