you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
