maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
