never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
