I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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