You're so nebulous sometimes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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