Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
