so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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