Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize