i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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