real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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