I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
