please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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