idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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