Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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