So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she peed on how many people?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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