Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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