My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize