She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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