I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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