Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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