I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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