My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
