I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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