dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have fence marks all over my body
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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