Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
