If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
