if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
