haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
