I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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