finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
