I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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