Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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