Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
