butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
