remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
