I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
