Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
