Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
