Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
