Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
