hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
