Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
