Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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