that's an acceptable place to lick
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
