Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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