Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
