woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
