So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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